Monday, July 26, 2004

Screaming the Boredom Away

Saturday night was the John Mayer and Maroon 5 concert.  Or would it be Maroon 5 And John Mayer?  John was the headliner should he be mentioned first or should Maroon 5 be mentioned first considering they came on first?  No matter it was a great concert.

Me and two friends went.  We stopped at Starbucks for some coffee.  Being I only get mocha Frappacino that is what I go that time also.  It was good.  We did so considering we were tired while we were driving there.  Ten minutes in the car we became tired which is not good since the concert is another 45 minutes away—so caffeine and some pumped up music was entitled to help us out in such a feat.  It worked because we laughed and we talked and we spotted a truck with a bumper sticker that just said, “Jesus”.

No matter we arrived in 30 minutes until 7, which was show time.  We parked and head to the pavilion.  Back story is this, just so you know, Me and Dez had three tickets. My aunt couldn’t go so we had one to get rid of.  We give it to Michael and he goes with us because we decided that there was no way we could sale the ticket no one wants just one ticket.  So on the way to the concert we walked passed a single man asking for a single ticket and I decided that was a good time to eat some crow.  But with my luck we would have never seen him had we kept the ticket.  Anyway I made a comment on how there were a lot of preppy white people around.  Which initiated the “Minority Counting” or “Minority Check List” or “Minority Bingo”.  Me and Dez played such a game at all concerts we attend.  Last time we played it at Warped Tour.  I also stated how the preppy whiteness made me feel underdressed.  I was punked out so to speak.  I had none flowery and none kaki shorts.  I had on my none button up shirt and also my none sandal shoes.  I had on a black T-Shirt, none breathing dark gray shorts with massive pockets, black shoes like vans but not.  All of which I bought from Wal-Mart and I do notice that they are starting to fall apart on me.  Stupid cheap shoes.  So I was far from the prepsters that walked all around me.

The game was a foot.  We were to find black people, Asian people and Spanish people.  Us three were not included.  We did find a three black women and three black men.  None were together. One black man was gay and the other two had white girlfriends, which then brought us to the minority couple finding.

Upon entering the concert we were checked for things in which cannot enter.  Which made Michael crotched his camera; not really.  He had put the camera in his pants—not pockets because they check those.  As they checked him, made him turn around and do some stupid hockey pokey dance the camera started to slid down his pants.  But he then had to show his ankles and he stopped the camera from sliding out.   Camera in the crotch was a success.  Camera not allowed was by sheer genius.

We checked-out the T-shirts.  So for girls.  On to our seats.  Nice seats in the sun.  There were people who had their feet on our seats.  They must have been so happy by our arrival.  Aw were they in for a rude awakening.

It was hot, hot, hot, hot and hot.  No wind.  It was the kind of hot that was icky sticky and as the night went on I could barely breath the air because it was so thick.

A DJ spun records on stage.  He was good but I believe, even though he was black, he played “white music”.  Which means he was pleasing the majority.  He didn’t play anything that was cool to me just cool to the masses.  Plus he played an R&B song that I liked but when I saw two older white women singing and dancing to it, it made me sick and ill.  Little did I know it would only get worse.

People started coming in and no one was sitting in front or nest to us.  Then three girls come into our row and sit right next to us.  They come in loud.  At first I thought I would not like them until one girl claimed not to be drunk and then said, “I don’t have the ability to stand up right.”  They started making fun of people.  It was hilarious.  They were excited to be there.  The one who was not drunk moved around a lot but stayed in her area.  It was so entertaining.

I noticed we were in such a dead section full of old people.  All the freakin’ time me and Dez get the dead section.  No one wants to dance or scream or clap or anything.  This was a dead section.  Full of oldness that was horribly boring.

Maroon 5 comes out and everyone screams.  Not our section.  Well let me restate that: our section screamed—4 of us.  Three girls and me.  I didn’t scream I yelled two of the girls screamed like death was coming to get them.  I laughed so hard.  Maroon 5 was awesome.  I liked their set and their energy.  I really would have loved to see them again.  But the girls stole the show.  They talked about this woman who wore the wrong kind of shorts because she had sweat on her butt.  They would scream “sweaty butt,” though an upgrade of the word “butt” was used.

They would scream for Marron 5 even though they did not know all of their songs.  When they noticed the old people in front of us did not like it they screamed more loud.  Same with the people behind us and next to them.  They were egged on by these peoples old boring selves not clicking the screaming.

They wanted so bad to pull this clip from the older woman that sat in front of us.  So funny were their attempts to be clever.

One would get up and dance it was funny.  I cheered for her.  Maroon 5 finished their short set—I wanted it to be longer.  One of the girls had to go to the first aid because she need her bra fixed, it broke.  Probably because her big breast broke the thing in which was supporting her.  So her and the other one left.  The one that stayed said she was the chaperon.  That made the angry none moving boring old people do some unwanted talking. 

Minority Bingo Dez points out a black couple.  I made mention they are too old and they were not acceptable.

The old couple behind us made the dumbest comments.  There was no tack in that ugly old woman’s words.  She rudely and with the hick vocabulary stated how the girl on the end was being too loud and moving around too much hitting people.  The 19 year old was irritated now and stated how it was a concert they are having fun.  Stupid woman who is beyond dumb states in a very “I’m older listen to me,” I don’t want to have to tell the manger, which only means she wanted to say they were just having fun.

Which caused stupid man with the lack of education, who is apparently managed to hick his vocabulary, to say, “Just because they are miserable and over weight does not mean they have to make everyone else that way.”  19 told him he is fat too plus he is 45 looking how come he is picking on two 15 year old girl.  The daughter of the loser parents states that 19 should respect people who are older.  19 stated that she isn’t going to respect her mom because she is a “bitch”.  She shut them all up real good.

I thought it would be funny if I said, “Sir it isn’t our fault that you haven’t had sex with your wife in a long time.  So please take your sexual frustrations out on someone other than two 15 year old girls.”  But 19 handled it good and I was laughing too hard to even be mad enough to say anything.

I told 19 it would be funny if those girls come back quite.  No sooner do I find that there they come back screaming hello.  The manager talked to them and the girls were really confused.  They were just having fun.  They were told to stay in their chair area.  They were pissed.

“Minority Bingo” found a Spanish couple.  They were young enough to be entered into this hall of fame.

So because they were pissed at the stupid people around us when John Mayer cam out there was screaming as if you never heard that kind of screaming.  The girls stood up and staid up the entire time.  They screamed and danced all the way through not sitting once.  The old people behind us must have been upset because they couldn’t see.  Had they not complained so stupidly the girls would have not stood up the entire time.

I was standing up and yelling and having fun.  But then a slow song came on and there was this voice behind me saying, “You know you want to sit down.”  I did want to sit down but not because of the voice.  So when I sat down I made it a point to point out how there was a guy still standing right in front of me and said, “See didn’t get what you want did you.”  Michael said he heard a voice that told him to sit down but he said, “Sit down white boy.”  It is funny because Michael isn’t white.  One song later I was standing again.

When John Mayer sang No Such Thing it was awesome because there is two parts in that song that fit what occurred that night.  One part he sings, “Stay inside the lines” and that was funny because the girls would go, “are we within our chair space?”  Then the next part was “scream at the top of my lungs” and they would scream so loud.  I would scream with them.  The old people were gritting their teeth it was so funny. 
There stupid old people behind us decided that they would leave 30 minutes early.  So sad.  One girl said, “Good bye have a nice evening.”  It was funny because they didn’t say anything back and I know they heard them.  When they left down the stairs I yelled in excitement and stated, “Old people had left.” 

“Minority Bingo” found an Asian couple and they were young enough to be counted also.

There ends up being a guy that dances behind Michael.  This man had no coordination or any moves that were worthy for public viewing and that is why he got laughed at by me and the girls and Michael who saw him in the corner of his eye and it freaked him out.

John Mayer sang my favorite song from the new CD which was Clarity.  He sang most of his famous songs except for the one I really wanted to hear which was Stupid Mouth.  I waited and waited and didn’t hear that one at all.  But I am pleased because he was very entertaining and I would see him again.  He stated how he couldn’t read the posters while he was singing because he would forget the lyrics.  So he read them between two songs.  He would point to one and go, “That is cool.”  Next one, “You want to move to the front?  Don’t know how you are going to do that.”  Last one, “Yeah we could do that tonight.”  He had the guys and girls sing that part of the song from Justin Temberlake’s song Senorita.  It was cool

These two older woman come to stand behind us because they noticed that John Mayer was going to come back out for and encore.  We yelled and clapped for him to come out.  They gave me and Dez their tickets and we went to their seats, which were four rows from the stage.  He came out and did some acoustic stuff it was awesome.   When I got to seat where we were suppose to be this old woman taped me and told me to move out of her way because she couldn’t see.  I wasn’t so pissed but afterwards I told Dez, “I should have told her not to touch me with her wrinkly old finger and it isn’t my fault you don’t have working cartilage so you can move to another position you freakin’ HAG!”

I decided that old people need their own kind of section in the concert area because they are boring and useless for the concert.  Because if there was only old people in these concerts they would be dead quite and everyone would be seating down.  This wasn’t some concert for Beethoven and his lame stupid piano of sitting.  Old people need to know that there will be standing and screaming and they need to know to get over it.

We went and ate at Chilie’s afterwards.  We didn’t get any water at the stupid concert because it cost to darn much.  And the coffee didn’t help in us not getting thirsty.  Next time we will not be drinking coffee.  Next time I will tell old people to shove it and then some. At Chilie’s we drank two cups of water oh so fast.  I would like to point out how John and Maroon 5 stated how we were much better than Dallas.  That’s right Dallas sucks.  I freakin’ hate how they get all this crap and their city is so freakin’ boring.

Old people suck and need their own section or better yet they shouldn’t even come to the concert because if screaming bothers them then how can they listen to the loud music?  Stupid old people.  Oh so useless.

Final Minority Bingo there was never a young black couple found.  Therefore we lost this time around.  There is always next time.


Dork Lesson #5 it is dorky to be tired when you only drove for ten minutes to the Starbucks and still have 45 minutes until destination.  It is dorky to play Minority Bingo and it makes it dorkier that one would keep score.  It is dorky not to buy water at a concert and refuse to do so even though dry mouth and dehydration is settling in.  It is dorky to laugh at three immature girls saying really bazaar stuff.  It is not dorky to think that old people need not go to concerts if they can’t have fun, that is being smart.  Having to state something you know is right as smart is majorly dorky in itself.