Monday, July 26, 2004

Screaming the Boredom Away

Saturday night was the John Mayer and Maroon 5 concert.  Or would it be Maroon 5 And John Mayer?  John was the headliner should he be mentioned first or should Maroon 5 be mentioned first considering they came on first?  No matter it was a great concert.

Me and two friends went.  We stopped at Starbucks for some coffee.  Being I only get mocha Frappacino that is what I go that time also.  It was good.  We did so considering we were tired while we were driving there.  Ten minutes in the car we became tired which is not good since the concert is another 45 minutes away—so caffeine and some pumped up music was entitled to help us out in such a feat.  It worked because we laughed and we talked and we spotted a truck with a bumper sticker that just said, “Jesus”.

No matter we arrived in 30 minutes until 7, which was show time.  We parked and head to the pavilion.  Back story is this, just so you know, Me and Dez had three tickets. My aunt couldn’t go so we had one to get rid of.  We give it to Michael and he goes with us because we decided that there was no way we could sale the ticket no one wants just one ticket.  So on the way to the concert we walked passed a single man asking for a single ticket and I decided that was a good time to eat some crow.  But with my luck we would have never seen him had we kept the ticket.  Anyway I made a comment on how there were a lot of preppy white people around.  Which initiated the “Minority Counting” or “Minority Check List” or “Minority Bingo”.  Me and Dez played such a game at all concerts we attend.  Last time we played it at Warped Tour.  I also stated how the preppy whiteness made me feel underdressed.  I was punked out so to speak.  I had none flowery and none kaki shorts.  I had on my none button up shirt and also my none sandal shoes.  I had on a black T-Shirt, none breathing dark gray shorts with massive pockets, black shoes like vans but not.  All of which I bought from Wal-Mart and I do notice that they are starting to fall apart on me.  Stupid cheap shoes.  So I was far from the prepsters that walked all around me.

The game was a foot.  We were to find black people, Asian people and Spanish people.  Us three were not included.  We did find a three black women and three black men.  None were together. One black man was gay and the other two had white girlfriends, which then brought us to the minority couple finding.

Upon entering the concert we were checked for things in which cannot enter.  Which made Michael crotched his camera; not really.  He had put the camera in his pants—not pockets because they check those.  As they checked him, made him turn around and do some stupid hockey pokey dance the camera started to slid down his pants.  But he then had to show his ankles and he stopped the camera from sliding out.   Camera in the crotch was a success.  Camera not allowed was by sheer genius.

We checked-out the T-shirts.  So for girls.  On to our seats.  Nice seats in the sun.  There were people who had their feet on our seats.  They must have been so happy by our arrival.  Aw were they in for a rude awakening.

It was hot, hot, hot, hot and hot.  No wind.  It was the kind of hot that was icky sticky and as the night went on I could barely breath the air because it was so thick.

A DJ spun records on stage.  He was good but I believe, even though he was black, he played “white music”.  Which means he was pleasing the majority.  He didn’t play anything that was cool to me just cool to the masses.  Plus he played an R&B song that I liked but when I saw two older white women singing and dancing to it, it made me sick and ill.  Little did I know it would only get worse.

People started coming in and no one was sitting in front or nest to us.  Then three girls come into our row and sit right next to us.  They come in loud.  At first I thought I would not like them until one girl claimed not to be drunk and then said, “I don’t have the ability to stand up right.”  They started making fun of people.  It was hilarious.  They were excited to be there.  The one who was not drunk moved around a lot but stayed in her area.  It was so entertaining.

I noticed we were in such a dead section full of old people.  All the freakin’ time me and Dez get the dead section.  No one wants to dance or scream or clap or anything.  This was a dead section.  Full of oldness that was horribly boring.

Maroon 5 comes out and everyone screams.  Not our section.  Well let me restate that: our section screamed—4 of us.  Three girls and me.  I didn’t scream I yelled two of the girls screamed like death was coming to get them.  I laughed so hard.  Maroon 5 was awesome.  I liked their set and their energy.  I really would have loved to see them again.  But the girls stole the show.  They talked about this woman who wore the wrong kind of shorts because she had sweat on her butt.  They would scream “sweaty butt,” though an upgrade of the word “butt” was used.

They would scream for Marron 5 even though they did not know all of their songs.  When they noticed the old people in front of us did not like it they screamed more loud.  Same with the people behind us and next to them.  They were egged on by these peoples old boring selves not clicking the screaming.

They wanted so bad to pull this clip from the older woman that sat in front of us.  So funny were their attempts to be clever.

One would get up and dance it was funny.  I cheered for her.  Maroon 5 finished their short set—I wanted it to be longer.  One of the girls had to go to the first aid because she need her bra fixed, it broke.  Probably because her big breast broke the thing in which was supporting her.  So her and the other one left.  The one that stayed said she was the chaperon.  That made the angry none moving boring old people do some unwanted talking. 

Minority Bingo Dez points out a black couple.  I made mention they are too old and they were not acceptable.

The old couple behind us made the dumbest comments.  There was no tack in that ugly old woman’s words.  She rudely and with the hick vocabulary stated how the girl on the end was being too loud and moving around too much hitting people.  The 19 year old was irritated now and stated how it was a concert they are having fun.  Stupid woman who is beyond dumb states in a very “I’m older listen to me,” I don’t want to have to tell the manger, which only means she wanted to say they were just having fun.

Which caused stupid man with the lack of education, who is apparently managed to hick his vocabulary, to say, “Just because they are miserable and over weight does not mean they have to make everyone else that way.”  19 told him he is fat too plus he is 45 looking how come he is picking on two 15 year old girl.  The daughter of the loser parents states that 19 should respect people who are older.  19 stated that she isn’t going to respect her mom because she is a “bitch”.  She shut them all up real good.

I thought it would be funny if I said, “Sir it isn’t our fault that you haven’t had sex with your wife in a long time.  So please take your sexual frustrations out on someone other than two 15 year old girls.”  But 19 handled it good and I was laughing too hard to even be mad enough to say anything.

I told 19 it would be funny if those girls come back quite.  No sooner do I find that there they come back screaming hello.  The manager talked to them and the girls were really confused.  They were just having fun.  They were told to stay in their chair area.  They were pissed.

“Minority Bingo” found a Spanish couple.  They were young enough to be entered into this hall of fame.

So because they were pissed at the stupid people around us when John Mayer cam out there was screaming as if you never heard that kind of screaming.  The girls stood up and staid up the entire time.  They screamed and danced all the way through not sitting once.  The old people behind us must have been upset because they couldn’t see.  Had they not complained so stupidly the girls would have not stood up the entire time.

I was standing up and yelling and having fun.  But then a slow song came on and there was this voice behind me saying, “You know you want to sit down.”  I did want to sit down but not because of the voice.  So when I sat down I made it a point to point out how there was a guy still standing right in front of me and said, “See didn’t get what you want did you.”  Michael said he heard a voice that told him to sit down but he said, “Sit down white boy.”  It is funny because Michael isn’t white.  One song later I was standing again.

When John Mayer sang No Such Thing it was awesome because there is two parts in that song that fit what occurred that night.  One part he sings, “Stay inside the lines” and that was funny because the girls would go, “are we within our chair space?”  Then the next part was “scream at the top of my lungs” and they would scream so loud.  I would scream with them.  The old people were gritting their teeth it was so funny. 
There stupid old people behind us decided that they would leave 30 minutes early.  So sad.  One girl said, “Good bye have a nice evening.”  It was funny because they didn’t say anything back and I know they heard them.  When they left down the stairs I yelled in excitement and stated, “Old people had left.” 

“Minority Bingo” found an Asian couple and they were young enough to be counted also.

There ends up being a guy that dances behind Michael.  This man had no coordination or any moves that were worthy for public viewing and that is why he got laughed at by me and the girls and Michael who saw him in the corner of his eye and it freaked him out.

John Mayer sang my favorite song from the new CD which was Clarity.  He sang most of his famous songs except for the one I really wanted to hear which was Stupid Mouth.  I waited and waited and didn’t hear that one at all.  But I am pleased because he was very entertaining and I would see him again.  He stated how he couldn’t read the posters while he was singing because he would forget the lyrics.  So he read them between two songs.  He would point to one and go, “That is cool.”  Next one, “You want to move to the front?  Don’t know how you are going to do that.”  Last one, “Yeah we could do that tonight.”  He had the guys and girls sing that part of the song from Justin Temberlake’s song Senorita.  It was cool

These two older woman come to stand behind us because they noticed that John Mayer was going to come back out for and encore.  We yelled and clapped for him to come out.  They gave me and Dez their tickets and we went to their seats, which were four rows from the stage.  He came out and did some acoustic stuff it was awesome.   When I got to seat where we were suppose to be this old woman taped me and told me to move out of her way because she couldn’t see.  I wasn’t so pissed but afterwards I told Dez, “I should have told her not to touch me with her wrinkly old finger and it isn’t my fault you don’t have working cartilage so you can move to another position you freakin’ HAG!”

I decided that old people need their own kind of section in the concert area because they are boring and useless for the concert.  Because if there was only old people in these concerts they would be dead quite and everyone would be seating down.  This wasn’t some concert for Beethoven and his lame stupid piano of sitting.  Old people need to know that there will be standing and screaming and they need to know to get over it.

We went and ate at Chilie’s afterwards.  We didn’t get any water at the stupid concert because it cost to darn much.  And the coffee didn’t help in us not getting thirsty.  Next time we will not be drinking coffee.  Next time I will tell old people to shove it and then some. At Chilie’s we drank two cups of water oh so fast.  I would like to point out how John and Maroon 5 stated how we were much better than Dallas.  That’s right Dallas sucks.  I freakin’ hate how they get all this crap and their city is so freakin’ boring.

Old people suck and need their own section or better yet they shouldn’t even come to the concert because if screaming bothers them then how can they listen to the loud music?  Stupid old people.  Oh so useless.

Final Minority Bingo there was never a young black couple found.  Therefore we lost this time around.  There is always next time.


Dork Lesson #5 it is dorky to be tired when you only drove for ten minutes to the Starbucks and still have 45 minutes until destination.  It is dorky to play Minority Bingo and it makes it dorkier that one would keep score.  It is dorky not to buy water at a concert and refuse to do so even though dry mouth and dehydration is settling in.  It is dorky to laugh at three immature girls saying really bazaar stuff.  It is not dorky to think that old people need not go to concerts if they can’t have fun, that is being smart.  Having to state something you know is right as smart is majorly dorky in itself.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Reality Tuesday

I will be writing about my Tuesday ritual in which I watch three shows in a row.  I may or may not do this every week.  I have yet to decide if that is worth my time or not.  But I guess I may.  No matter I’ll just do this one and see what occurs next week.  It all depends on if I’m in the mood.
I watch Big Brother 5, Amazing Race 4 (I believe) and then nip/tuck.  Each show is good and each one was entertaining on Tuesday.  So I’ll start with the first one and work my way down.
Big Brother 5 is getting interesting because of the Four Horsemen.  They have stirred up.  Up for leaving that stupid house full of dumb girls was Holly and Lori.  Well Lori decided she wanted to go.  Twin woman told her that she needed to stay.  (I chose to remember whoever’s name is worthy of remembering.  The twins might get the boot so I refuse to learn their names until they are worthy.  They are too wishy-washy to be such. )  Will and other morons (girls) decided they would do some sort of opporation, which by the way isn’t worth mentioning because the name SUCKED!!  Their idea was stupid and of course it failed.  One of those morons went up to Jase (after he won veto power) and told him that they all decided to vote out Lori because she wanted to go.  Funny thing is that Jase saw through that plan and used the Veto to put up stupid mocking blond woman.  Ha ha ha.  Losers.
The girls should have kept their alliance secret until it was right to tell.  Oh well.  Losers now have two of their own up there.  Marvin was mad that one of his picks got vetoed and Holly is staying.  Wawa Marv you are only here because the 4 decided you are worthy.  Not for long though. 
Diane got all terry eyed because Scott called her “Trailer Trash”.  So much for tough girl she caved in and cried.  Wa wa wa.  Loser.  She started the name calling and then starts to cry because she can’t take it.  No matter she’ll be gone soon enough.  I predict Lori to be the one to go because of her money hungry self.
When Will talks it sounds like he needs to swallow.  So freakin’ nasty.  I wish he would shut it he isn’t smart enough.  And he was all, “We have to win HOH!”  Thanks for that point of interest.  Duh!  But they are so mad they can’t see straight therefore they will not win.  Oh well no sadness from me for that stupid alliance.
Funny is Michael’s sister (who by the way isn’t important enough to have her name remembered either) get all mighty on the fact that she isn’t getting the info.  Well she hasn’t proven worthy enough to get all the info because she has yet to do anything to prove her self.  I wouldn’t shed a tear if she got out.  Oh well.
Scott thinks he is controlling everything and his inability to notice that Jase is ruling the roost is sooooooo funny.  Michael is a pleaser so he won’t make it.  But Drew is friends with everyone in that house.  I see him making it all the way to the end.
Oh and the Twin girls need to notice that the guys are their best bet if they wanna live to see their other half in that house.  Otherwise they will appear and disappear just as quick because they will be picked off by the amazing four.
Next on the list is the Amazing Race.  It is important to note that the rule that I stated about remembering names works here.
Don’t like the Midget woman at all and her stupid cousin.  Though what they did to the brothers was funny on how they got in line before them.  But her constantly saying no one is helping them and that that is why they are not helping anyone else is stupid.  Lame.  I wish they would just go away and lose.  They can’t read a map and neither of them can speak Spanish. 
The models pulled a fast one on them and they are becoming my favorite team because of the way they are playing.  They were following the cousins and notice they went the wrong way and then we they caught up to them later told them that they did wait for them but they never came.  Stupid cousins bought it.  Losers.
The mothers are very entertaining with their laughing all the way.  The married couple is irritating and if they go oh well.  The twins are fun to watch swimming instead of crossing the shallow area.
The father/daughter team got off on the wrong foot and could never catch up and therefore lost.  But they almost caught up to the brothers.  The brothers got passed by four teams because they couldn’t find the white inside of a chocolate.  It was funny and gross.
I think the Models have the best chance of winning I am rooting for them.  They work well together and they have yet to argue with one another.  That would go for the Mothers too.  They are fun to watch.
Nip/Tuck is a good show.  It was good because there was no butt shots that night.  Though I go through my hate of Christian and then like quite fast through that one episode.  I mean it is all cool that he found someone to love but then when he lost the child he lashed out at his best friend and then asked for his wife to come over to comfort him.  I think that was lame.  Come on get your own comfort that isn’t someone else’s wife.
McNamar’s son thought his dad wasn’t up to being brave.  Well that changed when he got into an accident because he started showing that he wasn’t scared of dying.  Until he went diving for Sharks with his son and realize that he didn’t want a shark to take his son and changed his mind.  Good thing because he saved a life and his son saw.
Christian cried about losing Wilber, who they renamed Gabriel, and he stated something to Wilber he said, “Remember me.” That was so touching and that was a moment I liked him.  But then he turned around and did something self centered and again I hated him.  Though he did find out that he was Matt’s real dad.  She is such a stupid woman who had to have slept with Christian on her wedding day.  Plus she is a sucky wife at the moment.  So not suportive.
Lesson #4 – Having a TV show give you a moment of sadness by the phrase “Remember me” from a damaged character is some what dorky.  And then hating the same person in a split second, a little more dorky.  Watching Big Brother and wishing the down fall of the stupid girls plus enjoying Jase’s cocky “know everythiness” is past dorky.  But getting excited over Amazing Race and laughing and screaming at the TV is dorky.  So in reality watching two reality shows in a row and then watching a drama about plastic surgery is major dorkaramaness.  Good evening Tuesday.

My Wal-Mart Love Affair

Wal-Mart how I love thee let me count the ways.  Well not really count but say the ways that I love Wal-Mart.
I could not live without a Wal-Mart.  I mean it has everything I could ever want at a price I can actually pay.  Dress socks for sixty cents is an awesome.  Having caps for 7$ is too cool.  Though the CDs are never in any recognized order the price is worth the look through the chaos.
It is open 24 hours.  That means if I need a loofa at 2:30 a.m. I can go to Wal-Mart and get one.  How about a banana at 6:01 a.m.?  Yes I can.  How about a deck of cards at 10:30p.m.?  Yes I can.  24 hours 7 days a week.  I could get anything at any time.
Pencil and chickens are in the same store.  So if I wanted a baseball and spam I can go to Wal-Mart.  If I wanted paper clips and T.V. Dinners I can go to Wal-Mart.  If I wanted ivory soap and Bar-B-Q sauce I can go to Wal-Mart.  I could buy all of this at 1 a.m. because why?  That’s right 24 hours.
I can not vacation in a town without a Wal-Mart.  I could tolerate living in a small city if I have what?  That’s right a Wal-Mart.  It is the place to shop.
I cannot go into a Wal-Mart without spending money.  I go in for one thing like soap or a pen and come out with 4 items.  I just cannot go in there an buy what I need.  I go in there and get not only what I need but what I assume I’ll need in the future.
I love the Gap, Old Navy, Hot Topic, and American Eagle.  But When I don’t have the green Wal-Mart clothes are just as good.  So is Wal-Mart’s boxer briefs, ankle sox, and wife beaters.  I am comfortable in my Wal-Mart gear.  It isn’t like shopping at the dumpster, though one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
It’s nice to have Micky D’s there but I only eat the Spicy McChicken.  It is a nice little partnership there.  That could tie them into Disney. That is the 3 Power Houses: McDonald’s, Disney and Wal-Mart.
Then they have self check-out.  That rules.  I just have three things I can now leave quicker because I am paying through self check-out.  Then I don’t need cash I can pay with my ATM card.  It’s just too cool.
Wal-Mart is more than just for selling walls.  It is my sanctuary of bathroom necessities, munchies, writing helpers and chest covers (T-Shirts).  I love the Wal-Mart.  It is my livelihood.  Long live the mart!  And that is how much I love thee.
Dork Lesson #3 going to Wal-Mart is dorky.  Going to Wal-Mart in the wee hours and excited to do so is Dorky.  Going to Wal-Mart for one thing and coming out with 4 items that are not the one and plus the reason of going in is dorky.  Being a master at self-check out is dorky.  Thinking there is nothing wrong with my obsession with Wal-Mart is uber dorky.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Wink, Wink, Sneeze!

Are Summer movies suppose to be some sort of revelation? I wouldn't think so. *Sneeze* I'm allergic to . . . well you know if you saw the movie.

I, Robot isn't some sort of highly evolved movie, like they claim the robots are. Whoever expects it to be such needs to check on how often they see movies during the summer and then ask themselves how dumb are they for thinking that. Their answer should be, "Very."

This movie was suppose to be fun and a little thought provoking but not all out intellectual. People expect too much from Summer.  If they wanted this movie to make some sort of point they would have made a boring documentary.

Acting was good. There is some good one liners in it. I like the one scene at the end of the movie that has the two main characters battling the robots. That scene was awesome because of the camera work. If that failed to make you amazed then just never go to the movies again becuase you will never be amazed. It was awesome because I'm afraid of heightsand it had my palms sweating from the spinning of the camera and the height.

The idea behind I, Robot isn't new because it has been done countless times. I can't say there is a movie that has been made that hasn't already been discussed one way or another by a previous movie. That's too much to ask of every movie and expecially a summer one.

If you decide to go see this movie don't set your expectations too high and I assure you, you will not have anything to cry about. It isn't a torture session. If you happen to figure out the ending that's nice. Who couldn't? I would be worried if you saw it and didn't fgure it out.

I, Robot was a good popcorn film. It entertained me as it should have and I would see it again should I chose to or I might even buy it. *Wink* A- because it is what I expect out of a Summer movie. No need to think just sit back and enjoy.

So what is dorky lesson #2? Sweaty palms. When watching a movie and your palms start sweating at the mere fake height in which the actors are fighting and jumping about makes you a dork. And if you are reading this and the mere thought is causing you to sweat, or you are typing and your palms are sweating because you are typing abut being high you are a dork.


I love the part of the movie where the girl says, "Was that suppose to be funny?"

And Will's character saying after he sneezed, "I'm allergic to B.S." Great stuff.

Monday, July 12, 2004

King of the Round Table

I saw Arthur this weekend. Normally someone would give you the name of the actors and yada, yada, yada but I’m not. I don’t feel like being like everyone else. They tell you what else they played in and do all that research. Please that’s lazy. I’m not going to allow my readers to get lazy. Do you want to know who is in this movie and what other movie they are in it is best you take yourself to Yahoo! and use them to figure all that lovely stuff. I’m just going to tell you what I thought about the movie. If I so happen to like the actor enough I may give them mention but otherwise no free shout outs from me.

It was an interesting retelling of an old tail. Stating that Arthur was around during Roman times is fascinating. They were called knights but they didn’t dress like knights. They did have a round table which I really liked. I would love to have a table like that. That would be so awesome. If it was made of wood it would make it better. Cause if it was plastic I would find it not cool. Wood is better.

The acting was good. Nothing to scream Oscar about and nothing to complain about. I did like this one scene where the knights horses were acting up and they all looked at one another and without one single word they all agreed to do something. That was the best scene in the entire movie. I loved it because they didn’t say one word but I knew what they were all thinking. It was better than all the fight scenes because it had feeling without having it over the top. Well done.

Speaking of the action I think it was done just fine. It isn’t something that I would say was remarkable but there are a couple of cool shots during the fighting. They don’t disappoint too much with that. Though I wouldn’t say it is worth the admission if you chose to see it based on that. It is more of a story with action then action with story.

The story was good it had some touching moments that I liked. Should I share them it wouldn’t be a nice little dramatic surprise so I will not be doing that. The lines were decent. They had a couple of one liners that were good. It had me laughing and thinking and a one or two times I did feel sad enough to shed a tear had I not been surround by people I don’t like sharing my tear with. These people being people I would never see again though I don’t share with people I never see again that easily. They are hard to share with because they may think I’m weird for doing that near them. Sniffing my snot in their ear may not want them to ever sit next to me again should I be in the same theater with them in the future.

So Arthur was a good movie. I’d give it a B+ from beginning to end. I wouldn’t be seeing it again in the theater but I might see it again should someone rent it. Do I recommend people to see it? They don’t have to see it but I don’t think it is something that will kill you should one of your friend suggest it as a movie to see one night. Just so you know it is long and you may doze off during it if you don’t like long movies.

Dork lesson number 1# you should be afraid to share so much emotion in front of people you will never see again because that way you look like you are being a tough guy but you are really just not comfortable with yourself enough to allow tears and snot to flow freely enough that there is a remote possibility it might hit the person next to you. That and having a tear try and push its way out during a movie about knights. That is dorky.

Welcome one and all to the land of Dork!

My first blog how interesting it will get. Dork will explain everything that is ever found in this blog. There will be things only dorks will get. What is a dork? That is sort of what I will be investigating while doing this blog. There are things I have yet to find out about myself that would explain that better than a dictionary definition.

So that is one of the things that will be figured out during my time on this. What is a dork. I suppose I can state at the end of each entry what made that entry a dork and at the end of several entries I will have a list of what makes a dork. Some sort of list that will be incomplete because there is more to come. I’m liking this idea. See that is dorky—coming up with something that wasn’t thought out before. See I’m typing this out without having some sort of outline. That could be seen as lame but hey I see it as dorky so that is all that matters.

What will be here other than dorky stuff? That is hard to tell. I am thinking that there will be cool stuff because dorky I may be but cool is first and foremost. I am into giving my opinion and I guess that is what I’ll be doing. I could write what I saw this past weekend and write about it or go off about dumb people on the road. But all this will be done in dork style. It may be odd to you but to the natural dork it will be the common language that bonds us together. For when we find each other over the internet or in person we become bonded with this special link. We are dorks.

One dork to find them and several to bind them but only one dork can rule them all and I will prove to you why I’m the king of such dorks. Welcome to my blog and may your stay not only be entertaining but may you feel dorkier once you leave. Otherwise I have failed.