Friday, August 27, 2004

Dollar Store Whore

Me and Dez were to go out thrift shopping on Sunday. Why? Because we wanted to, should there be another reason? Yeah that’s what I thought. Of course with the great weather we did have during the week, we would have to have thunderstorm weather for our weekend. So lovely and great are the two words that came to mind.

Dez drives us to what she thought was a thrift shop. But it wasn’t what she thought it was and therefore we didn’t get out of the car. We drove past the spot she thought it was at and we headed for the dollar store. That means we have to cross over a busy street in the rain in a car and it may seem easy but it wasn’t. The street we get on is two lanes and everyone had to squeeze into one lane. That sucked but the reason there was such suckiness is because a car battery died. Aw. We really didn’t have time to feel the sorry for them. It was raining and we had to make the light.

We get to the dollar store’s parking lot and Dez parks. Where does she park? Far freakin’ away from the door and the reason she does it is because, “There isn’t any parking that close.” And what do we see when we walk in the rain to the door as she tells me I am not going to melt? 3 parking spots and one of them is right there next to the store. She thinks it was okay to be cruel and mean to me. But all knows that that isn’t wise to do so.

We get in the store and we walk around. The whole reason we were going there was because we wanted to look at the shirts because last time we actually found something to get. But this time was different and crapy and we found nothing at all. So that sucked. We did, however, walk around the store to see if we see anything that we wanted. I was hungry but wasn’t allowed to eat because we were going to meet someone. So I wanted chips. I got chips.

I do look around and notice people have shopping carts which gives the impression that they are buying more than their two hands can hold. Which then I come to the conclusion that they have to shop at the dollar store because they can’t afford to go any where else and that’s okay. But I don’t want to be those people. I am pretty happy that I can go to the dollar store because I want to not because I have to. I don’t want to have to go to the dollar store because that would bite.

I decided I wanted to go and look at the wonderful pens that they have for a dollar. They were wonderful. So wonderful that some of them were open because apparently a dollar is way too much. Who in the world steals from the dollar store? Who? I mean it is only a dollar and then you decide what? That’s just too much for me. I can’t spend a dollar. What a dollar I’d rather spend only 99 cents. So I think I’ll steal this here pen because a dollar is way too much money for me to be shelling out for a pen.

I didn’t get it. Nor do I get my obsession with buying shirts even if they are from the dollar store. Well we did go out into our adventure to the thrift stores and it was unfortunate that they were all closed because they are good Christians and are not open on Sunday. I hate them. Why in the world would they or should they be closed on Sunday? No one knows.

Well I’m sure someone knows but that someone is not me. And therefore since it is not me and I don’t know this someone I say that no one knows. For as far as I know no one knows and that’s the way things are. Well should be. Anyway we end up eating wings and I end up stating we should start our own Olympic rowing team. And then Dez’s friend M says she’ll be the screamer screaming when to row. That’s fine because she is way to skinny to even row. I think her arms would fall off. That wouldn’t be pretty and I don’t clean up blood. That’s asking for something. What is it asking for—I have no idea but I don’t wanna clean the blood is that okay?

So we end up—as always—going to Wal-Mart because they need crap from there. I park far away from the door. Who complains? Not Dez because she knows she did the same thing to me but it was raining. I end up buying more shirts at Wal-Mart. I need a twelve step program for this addiction. But I like it. I love me the shirts.

Dork Lesson # 10 would be going to the dollar store for supplies and not because one has to but because one wants to. I will not state that stealing from the dollar store is dorky because I just find that stupid. Stupid dollar store stealers, what is up with that? Oh well we all can’t have the smartness.

Sunday, August 08, 2004

A Vanilla Out Shirtaholic

Friday was my cool double feature day. On my plate was Collateral and Napoleon Dynamite. No Dez this weekend she is off at a wedding it was just me. Me and me all alone which would be sad but I am far from boring even when alone.

My favorite movie theater would be the one that is called AMC 30. I love how incredibly ghetto it is. My favorite of all theaters it is so comfortable and cool and people are just normal. Then there are other theaters that I tend to go to only because it is the last resort. It would happen today because that is the way things go. I was to go with my aunt but she didn’t want to go today so that was a bust. I had a time to go at AMC 30 but it was too late for that one. Therefore the next best time was at AMC 20. Well the other reason was because AMC 30 has ticket guards and I’m not up to giving my money to anything other than Collateral. So AMC 20 was my choice.

AMC 20 is located in the rich part of town and it is where preppy was born. It happened to also be Friday and people like Friday so much that they drop their kids off at the mall and leave them there. Which makes it some kind of big baby sitting area and I do not like that one bit. So I have to suck it up and go there because I really want to see movies. I am running late. I have to speed all the way there which sucks in itself because of the construction that is occurring around my home area. Crap heads.

I am almost to the mall in where I am to see the movie and I end up having a moron want to get in front of me before the lanes merge. Okay fine but he decides to go slow. Butt monkey. I hate when people do that. I wish my car had some sort of cannon that would disable stupid cars like that. Anyway no matter I get to zoom past his slow butt later and head for Wal-Mart because I need money and some yummy snacks.

I get into Wal-Mart and get 3 packs of the yummy beef jerky and some tea. I use self checkout like a pro and I am off to the movies. I love it because I get there five minutes before the movie is to start and I speed walk my self into that mall. I see all the weird white posers that frequent that mall and think they would get their butt kicks if they were in my favorite side of town. No line so I get my ticket quickly and get into the theater and there was one preview before the movie started. I am good.

Collateral is about a taxi driver who ends up getting a ride that is a ride that changes his life forever. He is made to do things he would never do. It sort of an interesting event that causes some sort of confidence that he never knew he had. Vincent is the fare from hell for he has taxi driver man drive him to each kill. He would try to break him down by talking to him but Vincent is a smart one he is always 5 steps ahead. I liked the movie. It was a thinking thriller. It had some very interesting concepts that it put out there as to why things are done by people and that is a very fascinating thing to me.

Tom Cruise was a very good bad guy. I really didn’t like him towards the end. I did like the end because it tied in what was already discussed in the middle of the movie. There is a part where it shows the inability of communication between Cops and FBI I think that is freaky. Plan people because that is the way things should be handled. Winging it when someone’s life is on the line isn’t the smartest thing to do.

I give this movie a A-. I liked it that much. Weird. Well I don’t like it enough to shell out the money to buy it nor do I think I will see it again. But Tommy boy did a good job I give him so thumbs up. How about a good 7 because that is good and because Ebert doesn’t even have 7 thumbs no matter how many separate people could combine his weight.

That was the end of that movie and when the end comes that means I get up out of my seat and I go to the restroom and I wash my hands. Interesting place the restroom, they have these things called sinks. Now I don’t know if they have them in every restroom and bathroom in the world but they are cool things. Why are they cool? Well let me share that very prudent information: they have the ability to sanitize your hands when soap is used. Which happens to be the very happy companion of the sink and they both love to be used. Weird I know but true they like to be used because that is why they are there. A few guys are at this sink and some leave and I use it and what do you know there isn’t a drop of soap in that soap giver outer. Hummm what does that mean? That means they didn’t wash their hands. They go off and touch their girlfriends and their children and the handle and all they spread their penis germs all over. Which is why I try not to touch the handle I rather not have a handle on their penis when doing so. Because that is what you are touching when you touch something they touch and they didn’t wash their hands. Nasty. I wash.

I then take my body and sit down in the theater that is small for Napoleon Dynamite. It was about 20 minutes before it was to start. There were five kids in there. I was content with that amount. I sit down where I could put my feet up on this bar. I would hit the bar with my foot making it vibrate. It was good fun for 3 seconds. Then more children wonder it. It isn’t until there were lots of children that I realized it is PG movie. Sucks. I should never see a PG movie again. Children are fine but these jabber boxes wouldn’t talk in their 12 inch voices to each other. No they think that because they have blond hair and blue eyes it is best to yell so that others can see how big their mouth is. The stupid whores that sat behind me had to kick my chair. Which is only fine because they were getting up and sitting down otherwise I would have shot them in the breast had I not forgot my breast gun in the car. Darn it. Then there were to stupid whores that sat beside me and jabbered through the entire previews and wouldn’t shut up. They talked like they’ve never talked to each other ever. Why do people go to the movies and have conversations during the preview and the movie I have no idea? Losers. I was going to say something but it is only the preview so I allow it for now. They did end up shutting their useless mouths up so I could enjoy the movie.

Napoleon Dynamite was very funny. I liked how they did the credits at the beginning, very creative. The way that guy did his lines was funny. He would exaggerate some of the lines and that made what he said ten times more funny. The lethargic way some of the actors acted was pure comic genius for this movie. Napoleon’s talking on the phone is funny because he had to be out of the room so no one could hear him talk on the phone. Nothing has made me laugh like the way he dances. This movie was clean humor and it was funny. I like that they didn’t have to go raunchy on me.

During the movie, because I was sitting with posers of the universe club, a guy thought it would be funny to squeak his shoe against the floor. Wow the coolness in that. So lame. He got yelled at and he stopped. If he was really cool he would have continued to do it. What else was lame was the fact that during the movie there is a part where they play the theme of the A Team and I was thinking, “These morons in this theater haven’t a clue what that is.” I was one of four that would recognize that music. I hate that theater. Want another reason as to why I hate that theater? Okay, stupid blond bimbos behind me stood up and bimbo number 1 said, “That is a reason why you shouldn’t be a dork.” I wanted so bad to say, “And that is a reason why you are a whore.” But being I was surrounded by cookie cutters I decided that wouldn’t be one of the great situations to say something. I would save face and move on with life thinking she is a whore and all whores do are open up when they should close shop. Whore. Napoleon Dynamite gets an A+ from me and I will buy this movie in remembrance of the stupid morons I watched the movie with.

So I leave the theater and walk to my car. I walk there and I hear this R&B music booming and I watch the car park and out pops a white boy with his gangster gear on and I just thought, “I hate this theater” and “they would so die in my theater” so true. I was very vanillaed out.

It was Tax Free Weekend and I decided to go to this clothing store to by some shirts. They had shirts for ½ off and tax free. So I went looking through the cool stuff for my stuff and found a shirt that said, “Sarcasm one service I offer.” I love that shirt. Bought it. There was one I bought for a friend that said, “Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors.” So cool. I also got a shirt that said Dukes of Hazzards and I am wearing it right now. Also I saw a shirt that said, “This is the I don’t give a crap shirt.” I loved that one. I didn’t have the money for it but it was funny. Next time I guess.

I did have to make a stop at Wal-Mart because I wanted to look at their CDs. I did happen to by a CD by Joe Nickels but only because it was 9 dollars. Then I did a nice search through shirts and I bought several which includes one that states “Slacker”. I am a shirtaholic and I need a 12 step program please help me. I bought 4 shirts at the other store and then 6 at the WallyMart so I need the help. Help me.

Dork Lesson #9 Caring which theater you are to go to is dorky. Having to go to Wal-Mart even though there isn’t enough time is dorky. Sitting in a movie and forgetting what the rating is, is dorky. Sitting in the theater and hating the people in it because they dissever to be hated is dorky. Thinking instead of saying what is on your mind for fear a mob will kill you and you would be a dead minority in a sea of white is dorky. Loving shirts that have funny sayings on them just because is dorky. Going to Wal-Mart and buying shirts close to midnight is dorky. Being a shirtaholic is dorky. But the to be a major dork you have to have invented the word shirtaholic.

Friday, August 06, 2004

The Twisting Village & the White Castle

Movie day that was what it was last week when me and Dez went to go see movies. We were going to go and see The Village and White Castle with the two names I can say but cannot spell. Oh Henry is one name the other has 5 U’s or whatever. Anyway that was the plan. Considering we wanted to laugh second we decided to go and see the Village first.

But before we venture to see such a movie we needed the Wal-Mart. We had a good fifteen minutes and it was Sunday so we were not afraid of anything taking too long. It was salty day for me I got some beef jerky and water. Oh and that stuff they stick by the cashier I look at all the time. They stick that stuff there for people like me. I saw some Trident citrus gum and I had to get some. I was going to get something else but Dez told me to quit. So I did. She got the citrus too. See it works.

So we head to the theater and when we start to see the line we see there is a line. What in the world? It is freakin’ Sunday why is there a line? Well there was two lines and both lines only had one person doing tickets. Okay that explains some of it but what was up with the . . . . oh there was old people. Everything was explained then. It was hot and no wind and there was a line of ten people in front of us and our movie started in like 1 minute. Well then there is 15 minutes of previews. We ran through other possibilities of how we could see the movies we wanted but we just wanted to see the Village first. So we stuck with the idea.

Funny thing about old people they say some really stupid things. This old couple in front of us could barely walk. There soon were two people handing out tickets for our line and one was open and the old man said, “Open your eyes buddy” to the next person in line and proceeds to say how slow people are as he hobbles to catch up with his wife. Yeah okay buddy. Good one. You keep believing you are not a snail and I’m sure it will be so.

We get our tickets and head inside to our theater. We made it just in time for it was only the beginning credits. That was so cool. I was excited to see this movie. Being that I’ve seen all the director’s other movies and of them Signs being my favorite I was sure I would like this one.

So we had to find a seat. Well normal movies would have a bright screen shot and then I could see where we could go. The Village was not normal and therefore left us in the dark. Nice. I decided we should just sit in the row in front of us and I tried to see if there was anyone there and there wasn’t, until I went closer and a leg moved. It was freakin’ dark and I was laughing because I couldn’t see my own feet. We sit down and enjoy the entire movie.

I can’t get into what the entire movie is about because that would ruin the concept it was trying to hide in the trailers. I would like to say that the trailers are not deceptive, they are not trying to make you think it is scary it is just not enough to put into the trailer without giving away the plot. I liked the trailer because I like not knowing the entire movie upon seeing the trailers. So don’t think it is scary because it isn’t. It has moments that are but as a whole it is more of a thinking movie then an actually “scary movie”. You keep that in mind and you will be fine. Oh and if you didn’t like Signs you probably will not like this movie. It isn’t fast. It is slow. But the lines in this movie are so well done. I love that about this movie. The lines are so good. I love the scene that is between Ivey and Lucius on her porch. It was such a well done scene in the movie and one of my all time favorites.

Ivey is such a great character and is so well acted by the one that played her. Bryce Dallas Howard, daughter of the director of the same last name, is Ivey. She is a special case and I will mention her only because I think the way she acted in this movie is warrant of some kind of award, even if it isn’t an Oscar. She was outstanding and I have yet to see anyone top that this year.

The ending may cause some sort of hate towards the movie but it was to my liking. Oh well to those who don’t like it you aren’t cool enough to. As for the “twist”, if you really believe there to be one, don’t be disappointed if you figure it out. It isn’t like you are some kind of genius or the Director/Writer was some kind of lameiod—it is because this time around it isn’t about the twist as much as it is about the reason.

Speaking of the Director he is in the movie and I will only say his reflection is caught and that is all I can say on that.

The Village gets and A+ from me because of the lines, the idea, the great acting, the great story and it is a smart film that only a few will find so.

The ending left me and Dez laughing because others would hate it. We both liked it. Anyway we didn’t have time to sit there and ponder it all the way through. We got up and headed for the next movie, White Castle. We noticed they had posted an employee who would be checking tickets on that side of the theater and if you didn’t have a ticket for that movie you couldn’t pass. I thought he wouldn’t care if we did but I wasn’t in a risk taking mood. Though we decided to stand outside the exit door and wait for someone to come out so we could go in. Did someone come out? No. We decided to go buy the tickets. Then a group came out the exit when we were already on our way to buy tickets. Mad? Yes I was. I told her the movie better not be on that side of the theater, and when we got our tickets it was. We get to the guy and he didn’t even bother looking at the tickets. Mad? No very upset that I was so stupid for not trying.

We are sitting there watching this movie. Laughing and laughing and waiting for more laughing when the power in the theater went out. The power came on and the film burned. A good ten minutes passed before it was up and running again. People were all about getting their money back. Whatever losers sit down shut up and watch the movie.

Though I was hoping it wouldn’t ruin my timing considering I was hoping to get home in time to watch ABC the Days because I really like that show a lot.

White Castle was funny. The pot smoking antics of two young minorities was a funny tail. Patrick Harris’ appearance was funny the movie was just good fun and I enjoyed it. Would I end up buying such a movie? No. But would I see it again? Yes because there were parts that made me laugh like the peeing in the forests. It was like a real life scene stolen from real life. Peeing in the forests and then someone comes and pees right next to you when there is all kinds of foliage for them to pee on. Then there are the dumb white extreme sports morons which added some laughs. “Come again.” Ha ha.

White Castle did make me want some White Castle. Yummy looking I was hungry. I give this movie a B+ it made me laugh and I wasn’t too mad at the false start and it was worth paying for so there.

When me and Dez left we saw there was no guy standing there. That made us even more angry at the fact there wasn’t and we paid for our tickets. But we were good that day we didn’t sneak anywhere we were not suppose to.

Dork Lesson #8 Being in a check out line and having the things like gum and stuff call your attention long enough that you start wanting all of what you see and then getting most of what you see is dorky. Deciding to sneak into the next movie and then end up having to pay for it anyway is dorky. Obsessing over the fact that you could have got away with it is dorky. Liking the Village ending and laughing because others will not is being very dorky. LOL.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Jocks Afire

I went to the 3 Doors Down and Nickleback Concert. Me and Dez again. This time we were late. We missed 12 Stones but I was sure we would catch Puddle of Mudd. We passed up the grope team—the ones who check to see if I’m harmful, more on that later—and we are inside hearing Puddle of Mudd playing.

Dez gets on her phone because someone calls her and I hear that they are playing the one song that I wanted to hear them play and I run ahead so that I could watch them play this song. “She F****ing Hates Me.” Such a great song it is and I am so glad I got to hear it. “Throw your middle fingers in the air!” It is funny everyone did exactly as he said. I mean there is so much talk about not being sheep and then they go to the concert and they do exactly as they are told, which makes them all look like copy cats—something they were trying to avoid. I have no qualms with it, I just found it funny.

Me and Dez were on the lawn. We tried to find a good spot. We stood next to this couple. The girl stated she had no idea why this woman would wear those kind of clothes. I look and see this big woman with legs that did not look like they could support that kind of weight. She wore a Shakespeare type shirt and a jean skirt that showed off those chicken legs. She also had make-up that one would only find on a cadaver that was prepped for a wake. Freak.

Nickleback comes on stage and everyone stands up. This white man stood up and I couldn’t see passed him. So I said, “Stupid white man is in my way.” It was funny because there were white people in front of me that looked perturbed at what I said. I care not—though I bet I was a topic of conversation—because I would have said stupid black man, stupid Mexican, stupid Japanese man. It just so happens to have been a white man.

Me and Dez move down the hill. We found a nice spot where we could see Nickleback. At this spot we are then surrounded by young people. The eight guys in front of us would mosh with one another during the chorus of some of their songs. It was very entertaining. Then there was a group of 4 guys and one girl to the right. The girl would get frustrated when anyone would block her view of the stage. The 4 guys talked about this other girl who was 2 feet in front of them. She figured it out and was not happy. One of the guys kept mocking her and talking about her the entire time. He continued all through the concert. Even though he was checking her out all night long.

Then to our upper left were the dumb jocks. They may not have all been dumb jocks but that is what they reminded me of. No girl friends and pretending to be gay with one another. One in particular would inch closer and closer to me. He was drunk. So I hope that explains all his attention to the left side of my body. Then he bust out with this stupid jock comment, “Nickleback is cooler because he cussed more (than 3 Doors Down).” 1st he didn’t know his name is Chad Kroger and 2nd he liked the amount of cussing over the playing. Stupid.

Nickleback was very entertaining. There was hard playing, pyrotechnics, lots of fireworks, and they played a Metallica Cover. Then there was the drinking game and Beer O’Clock. Their hour of play Chad would scream, “Drink” at random moments and there would be loud cheers for his single word. Then he brought out beer in plastic cups and tossed the cups to the people that were in the pit. I thought it would have been cooler to have given everyone a cup—that wanted one—and bring out a keg and spray everyone with beer. My idea is so much better and I would so love to have been down there if that is what they did. I told Dez if she was there and got sprayed with beer then went home her mother would know and wake up. Even if she didn’t wake up she would smell it in the morning and know it was her daughter. Hahaha very funny. Poor Dez.

Nickleback was good, I liked them but they did not have the songs I liked. Maybe 3 songs they played I really liked but I was there for 3 Doors Down and all of their songs. They did have an awesome show going on. They had things pop up on screen that were wicked cool and I did wish to have that screen in my house so I could be wicked cool to but oh well a dork cannot be such.

Okay I was having fun listening to the music, rockin’ my head to the drums when all of the sudden there comes this woman. Not just any woman a woman dressed in a Shakespeare shirt and jean skirt with the skinny legs that make me wanna puke. We got a special appearance by Shakespeare woman. I had forgotten all about her and she had to come up the hill in my line of vision and ruin my moment because she had to chose to walk where ever the hell she walked to and had to come back up an violate my vision. Whore.

3 Doors Down was very good. They sang all the songs I wanted to hear. They had lasers and cool graphics on if kryptonite on the screen. Loser, which was their encore, was the song I forgot all about. I felt, needles to say, like a loser for forgetting. This would be the forth time I’ve seen them. They were just as good as the first time, which was good. There was a nice drum solo. They were filming some sort of 3 Doors Down movie there. So we had to work up our excitement for the camera. When the band was off stage before the encore dumb jock screamed 32.50, which is the cost of the ticket, he had to think that was going to give him a laugh—which it did. There was not a laugh from me. Jocks lack any sort of wit. It was like they traded all use of the brain for all use of the muscles; which must work out great for them, no pun intended. There had to be a dunk old man dancing off balance or it wouldn’t be a concert with beer, and there was. He was dancing and wasn’t instep with anything that would be called a beat.

During the slow songs there was lighters, which is always cool, that shot up into the air with arms attached. It is just a great sight to see all the lighters up at an out door concert. But I laughed because I can’t bring in a camera or candy but it is a ok to bring in a lighter—something that can set many things a fire. And if I am not mistaken fire can kill. Stupid rules made by people who lack the comprehension to see how dumb that really is.

How about this rule—the rule where when I stand in an open area people draw close to me for a touch of skin. The Jocks moved in and they 8 guys moved back. Dez told me we could move and I did not wanna move. They should have to move they are the one into the moving. How about the other rule of where Dez and I have to stand or sit in the boring section s because when we moved further down the hill, during the encore, we felt the excitement of the people there. I guess that would be because we moved away from the yawn fest. We screamed and yelled more.

Why couldn’t I scream where I was—uhm I don’t want the unwanted attention. Double negative? Not really caring at this point. All I needed was to be called some sort of name because I think I might have snapped and took a light and lit them afire and pushed them down the hill and they would explode because of all the alcohol that was covering that grass. Plus they would take out some of the people and I would get away without being caught because I don’t think there were enough brains surrounding me to understand that their lighter could start fires.

Speaking of beer I thought it was funny when we were finding our standing area that this woman had just got some beer and she like split a little and then had a four letter fall out of her mouth. I told Dez how important it is not to spill even a little bit of beer. It was like someone died or they stumped their toe when they did that. Spill water: fine. Spill beer: it is like you lost your best friend.

Oh yeah and our Minority Bingo thing we found a lot of Hispanic people there so I said that they must love Nickleback. But we were not in any luck to find a black couple, we found Asian and Hispanic couples but none of them were Black. Our game was a bust.

The concert was as a whole I would give a B+. Nickleback seems to just want to be a crowd pleaser then themselves. Excessive cussing and talking about drinking. But it is possible they are all about that, I suppose. Which would not make me like them anymore if that was so. They did know how to work the crowd though. 3 Doors Down did rock out to me. They sang all the songs I wanted to hear. I just think when I saw them last year and I was in the pit and they were with Our Lady Peace it was much better. Plus I think the Woodlands sucks as a cool place to see bands. They suck and need to be more fun oriented and lest restricted access.

Dork Less #7 Thinking you are a people magnet when in fact you are more likely to repel any human from talking to you is dorky. When you need others to get excited for any event, such as a concert, you show signs of dorkness. Thinking of harming people via a lighter can be considered dorky as long as the consideration doesn’t go any further as in actually planning it. Then you get into murder’s territory and I haven’t a clue about that. Yet. =)

Monday, August 02, 2004

Bourne Black Second Time Around

So I went to the movies as I always do on Friday night and this time I went and saw The Bourne Supremacy being that I saw the first one. I wasn’t all excited for this movie but oh well I went anyway. At least I didn’t go by myself I had friends. I do have friends outside this internet world.

As always we went to Wal-Mart first to get something to snack on during the movie. I was looking at this candy and I pronounced wrong according to my friends. Therefore since I pronounced it wrong I announced how I wouldn’t buy it because I didn’t disserve to buy it.

I ended up buying chocolate cover raisins and funions or however they are spelt. And I needed something to drink so I wanted Pepis because I am so persuaded to buy their crap because of the billion dollars I “could” win. But no the stupid machine was broken. So I had to deal with drinking water. Which then one of my friends proceeds to talk about how they had a dream about the water and its pronunciation of it. Isn’t that nice? He is such an uber nerd that he has dreams about how things are pronounced. That’s wonderful.

We were meeting Churney there. She is black and though you may not find it necessary for me to have mentioned that I did so deal with it. Really there is a mild reason as to why I even bothered noticing and stating what color skin she possesses.

We go and sit down in the theater and Churney wanted to know when I was going to get up and get stuff so that I can be her nice little servant and get her something also. Though some may state this as smart because she didn’t have to get up I state that it is lazy. But I don’t say it out loud. There are times when things should be kept to one’s self in order to avoid any unwanted vocal statements and this was one of those times. Actually with her there are many times like that but during those times I rarely even care to take into consideration her reaction. So volcanic she is it really doesn’t matter what I say she would just explode or implode.

Anyway the movie previews start and after each one I crack jokes about how a black person wouldn’t do this or that. But then there comes a movie about a white couple that gets left in the middle of the ocean while shark diving. I state how there is no way that a black person would stay there. But the truth of the matter is there is no way a black person would even consider going shark diving. Or as Churney would put it they wouldn’t be stupid enough to do so. I would be forced to agree.

So was the movie good and worth the money and my time? I have to say Matt Damon is impressive with all of his own stunts. Bourne is being chased again but this time for something he didn’t do. He isn’t too happy because he thinks the CIA did something to him and so he is after them and they didn’t have anything to do with it.

There is a scene that is cool the one they showed in the preview of him stating he can see them through their window. That scene is cool. There really aren’t any cool lines or anything else I liked to state that was cool. But I have to say this character of his is very smart and knows what he is doing which is good because there is suppose to be a third one.

To me this movie is similar to the first one and that is how I liked it. I liked it as much as I liked the first one. I would state if you liked the first one you would like this one but then my brother went and saw it and had to ruin that statement for me. He didn’t like it as much as the first one and it is for the same reason I sort of found it irritating.

That is because the camera did a lot of bouncing around. It would swing this way and that. For the most part it looked like it was a handheld camera and that just looked like crap. It reminded me of Daredevil and how the action scenes were too close and the camera was flying all over without staying in a fixed area so I could enjoy the action.

But it does have a better ending than the first one. Or so I thought. I freakin’ hate the ending to the first one with the happy little beach ending. Bla. Not too cool for a spy movie to end in such a state. But this one ends much better and it isn’t so happy.

I didn’t think it was a grand thriller but I didn’t think it was a horrible thriller. I would have to give it a B just like I gave the first one because there really isn’t any reason to give it more or make me want to see it again.

Dork Lesson #6 – Not getting some kind of candy because you fail to pronounce it correctly is dorky. Or that is just lame. Telling your friend that is black the reason there is no black people in this trailer and that one is dorky. Not being excited to see a movie but seeing it just because you saw the first one is dorky. And posting this review even though it is crapy—which cannot be blamed on you when the movie itself wasn’t something worthy of putting great as a description of it—because you want to have more entries in your blog is such the way of the dork.