Saturday, July 16, 2005

Does "Charlie" Own "Willy Wonka"?

Charlie and the Chcolate Factory is not a remake as much as it is a retelling of the story that was done a while ago. Years and dates bore me so I can't recall when Willy Wonka was made---'71? Something like that.

Anyway let me just do some back story.........

The plan was to at 7:10--didn't occur because I'm a late person. So we decided on 8:10---which wasn't really the time of the movie because my bestfriend told me the wrong time just so we could get there on time. Of course we don't cause I have to go the Wal-Mart to get something to hide in one of my pockets (Monster and beef jerky). So we get there a little late and on the way in a guy mock hits on me and stuff and I really thought he was hitting on my best friend but he wasn't. He was with a group of doppelgangers. They walked past he says you're hot and then starts commenting on other things. He laughs. I say 'hahahaha but you're white" and move on. Okay I didn't say that but had I thought it at the time I would have. Darn it.

So we go in and get our tickets and my best friend gets to the seat while I piss. Yeah they don't wanna sit in there with screaming childrens so we change out for 9:10. We walk around the mall get some apple slushy watch this 2 foot Chinese child slam the DDR game to the ground. It was entertaining. The slushy gives me cold headaches and then we head back to get a seat.

My best friend tells me a funny story I laugh loud. This black girl (important to note her color) mock laughs me laugh and I scream, "Well you're black" and laugh louder that time. Okay I didn't but had I I'm sure her friends would have had to hold her back while I laughed and walked away.

We get our seats and there we sit. Then the guy one seat over leaves. So here I am next to two empty seats in a very crowed theater. Guess how many times I was asked if those seats were taken? No go ahead and guess---yeah countless that's a good number. NOT MY SEATS but I'm the one who has to answer. Sick of it. The last guy who asks I say, "They are her seats" really loud and he's like, "I don't understand what you're saying are they taken?" And then the woman answers yes. Annoyed but why the hell should she be annoyed I'm the one who had to save her stupid seats for her and do I get a thank you? No. Anyway my next line to the guy was, "I don't understand your hair," but he moved too far away for me to say that. He was bald (shaved) and had one long pony tail and that's it.

Anyway the movie......

Any scene that's in the first movie does not get repeated in this movie. Yes Violet gets big and fat. Yes the line "Violet you're turning violet Violet" is in the movie but that's about it. The remainder of the movie is not similar to the first one and therefore I don't think calling it a remake is exactly correct. A retelling is more accurate.

Johnny Depp is freakin' funny. The mumbler lines are by far my favorite. He is odd and quirky and very witty.

The Oopaloopas (sp?) where the same actor multiplied. (I read) No computer animation just him. They recorded him over and over again to get that many all over in some scenes. I liked the songs the Oopaloopas sang. They were clever just like the first ones were.

In the first one I always fast forward through the "Charlie" song because it SUCKS. In this movie I don't think there is a single spot I would fast forward. The beginning is dramatic even though everyone knows what is to occur. It is not only dramatic but it is funny. The four grandparents have a bigger role and are their own characters. They add to the beginning quit well.

The end is similar to the book. The first one never showed the children leaving the Factory but this one did. Not only that they added more to the end and they added more back story to Will Wonka.

Tim Burton is one of my favorite directors. He stated he did not like the first one as much as anyone else did. And it's a good thing because what he created is totally different than the first one, so much so it shouldn't be compared at all.

I like that there are no songs except for the OoopaLoopas though I do think I miss the Candy Man song.

I loved it. I thought it was too funny and people laughed so I missed some of the jokes but I would so go see it again. It was worth my money.

I give it an A+. I for one like it more than the other one made way back when.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Enterprise's Lost Episode

I wanted closure. I understood it was over and I wanted to see a send off that would make it worth. I wanted two hours of action and tears and a great goodbye. Instead I got two hours of Paramount disrespect.

Star Trek has been gold to Paramount but apparently they did not want to return such a favor to Enterprise.

The series finale gets an F. They did not explain the reason for the alternate universe. They did not explain who the future guy was who spoke to the Sulabon.(sp?)

The last episode was slat in a wound of cancellation. Killing Trip was totally wrong and done in a very uncaring way. Adding the Next Generation cast was also wrong on so many levels. And instead of ending with Archer or one of the crew members they choose to end it on a lame crap holodeck program.

Enterprise could explain the ridges on Klingons in a creative fashion so no this last episode they could have done ten billion times better than they did. It was my favorite cast until that last episode.

Twenty plus years of Star Trek and this is the thanks they get? I am calling it Enterprise’s Lost Episode because it should not be remembered it should be lost and forgotten. I disown it as Enterprise worthy because I’m dorky enough to be able to do that.

Paula Issue

Corey Clark is a moron and a money grubber. Even if she did what he claims, it didn’t ruin the voting process at all. He is not a victim in this and he can’t sing. You suck at being human Corey and so do your parents.

This was me about American Idol and my two cents. It has been brought to you by my dorky self.