Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Jocks Afire

I went to the 3 Doors Down and Nickleback Concert. Me and Dez again. This time we were late. We missed 12 Stones but I was sure we would catch Puddle of Mudd. We passed up the grope team—the ones who check to see if I’m harmful, more on that later—and we are inside hearing Puddle of Mudd playing.

Dez gets on her phone because someone calls her and I hear that they are playing the one song that I wanted to hear them play and I run ahead so that I could watch them play this song. “She F****ing Hates Me.” Such a great song it is and I am so glad I got to hear it. “Throw your middle fingers in the air!” It is funny everyone did exactly as he said. I mean there is so much talk about not being sheep and then they go to the concert and they do exactly as they are told, which makes them all look like copy cats—something they were trying to avoid. I have no qualms with it, I just found it funny.

Me and Dez were on the lawn. We tried to find a good spot. We stood next to this couple. The girl stated she had no idea why this woman would wear those kind of clothes. I look and see this big woman with legs that did not look like they could support that kind of weight. She wore a Shakespeare type shirt and a jean skirt that showed off those chicken legs. She also had make-up that one would only find on a cadaver that was prepped for a wake. Freak.

Nickleback comes on stage and everyone stands up. This white man stood up and I couldn’t see passed him. So I said, “Stupid white man is in my way.” It was funny because there were white people in front of me that looked perturbed at what I said. I care not—though I bet I was a topic of conversation—because I would have said stupid black man, stupid Mexican, stupid Japanese man. It just so happens to have been a white man.

Me and Dez move down the hill. We found a nice spot where we could see Nickleback. At this spot we are then surrounded by young people. The eight guys in front of us would mosh with one another during the chorus of some of their songs. It was very entertaining. Then there was a group of 4 guys and one girl to the right. The girl would get frustrated when anyone would block her view of the stage. The 4 guys talked about this other girl who was 2 feet in front of them. She figured it out and was not happy. One of the guys kept mocking her and talking about her the entire time. He continued all through the concert. Even though he was checking her out all night long.

Then to our upper left were the dumb jocks. They may not have all been dumb jocks but that is what they reminded me of. No girl friends and pretending to be gay with one another. One in particular would inch closer and closer to me. He was drunk. So I hope that explains all his attention to the left side of my body. Then he bust out with this stupid jock comment, “Nickleback is cooler because he cussed more (than 3 Doors Down).” 1st he didn’t know his name is Chad Kroger and 2nd he liked the amount of cussing over the playing. Stupid.

Nickleback was very entertaining. There was hard playing, pyrotechnics, lots of fireworks, and they played a Metallica Cover. Then there was the drinking game and Beer O’Clock. Their hour of play Chad would scream, “Drink” at random moments and there would be loud cheers for his single word. Then he brought out beer in plastic cups and tossed the cups to the people that were in the pit. I thought it would have been cooler to have given everyone a cup—that wanted one—and bring out a keg and spray everyone with beer. My idea is so much better and I would so love to have been down there if that is what they did. I told Dez if she was there and got sprayed with beer then went home her mother would know and wake up. Even if she didn’t wake up she would smell it in the morning and know it was her daughter. Hahaha very funny. Poor Dez.

Nickleback was good, I liked them but they did not have the songs I liked. Maybe 3 songs they played I really liked but I was there for 3 Doors Down and all of their songs. They did have an awesome show going on. They had things pop up on screen that were wicked cool and I did wish to have that screen in my house so I could be wicked cool to but oh well a dork cannot be such.

Okay I was having fun listening to the music, rockin’ my head to the drums when all of the sudden there comes this woman. Not just any woman a woman dressed in a Shakespeare shirt and jean skirt with the skinny legs that make me wanna puke. We got a special appearance by Shakespeare woman. I had forgotten all about her and she had to come up the hill in my line of vision and ruin my moment because she had to chose to walk where ever the hell she walked to and had to come back up an violate my vision. Whore.

3 Doors Down was very good. They sang all the songs I wanted to hear. They had lasers and cool graphics on if kryptonite on the screen. Loser, which was their encore, was the song I forgot all about. I felt, needles to say, like a loser for forgetting. This would be the forth time I’ve seen them. They were just as good as the first time, which was good. There was a nice drum solo. They were filming some sort of 3 Doors Down movie there. So we had to work up our excitement for the camera. When the band was off stage before the encore dumb jock screamed 32.50, which is the cost of the ticket, he had to think that was going to give him a laugh—which it did. There was not a laugh from me. Jocks lack any sort of wit. It was like they traded all use of the brain for all use of the muscles; which must work out great for them, no pun intended. There had to be a dunk old man dancing off balance or it wouldn’t be a concert with beer, and there was. He was dancing and wasn’t instep with anything that would be called a beat.

During the slow songs there was lighters, which is always cool, that shot up into the air with arms attached. It is just a great sight to see all the lighters up at an out door concert. But I laughed because I can’t bring in a camera or candy but it is a ok to bring in a lighter—something that can set many things a fire. And if I am not mistaken fire can kill. Stupid rules made by people who lack the comprehension to see how dumb that really is.

How about this rule—the rule where when I stand in an open area people draw close to me for a touch of skin. The Jocks moved in and they 8 guys moved back. Dez told me we could move and I did not wanna move. They should have to move they are the one into the moving. How about the other rule of where Dez and I have to stand or sit in the boring section s because when we moved further down the hill, during the encore, we felt the excitement of the people there. I guess that would be because we moved away from the yawn fest. We screamed and yelled more.

Why couldn’t I scream where I was—uhm I don’t want the unwanted attention. Double negative? Not really caring at this point. All I needed was to be called some sort of name because I think I might have snapped and took a light and lit them afire and pushed them down the hill and they would explode because of all the alcohol that was covering that grass. Plus they would take out some of the people and I would get away without being caught because I don’t think there were enough brains surrounding me to understand that their lighter could start fires.

Speaking of beer I thought it was funny when we were finding our standing area that this woman had just got some beer and she like split a little and then had a four letter fall out of her mouth. I told Dez how important it is not to spill even a little bit of beer. It was like someone died or they stumped their toe when they did that. Spill water: fine. Spill beer: it is like you lost your best friend.

Oh yeah and our Minority Bingo thing we found a lot of Hispanic people there so I said that they must love Nickleback. But we were not in any luck to find a black couple, we found Asian and Hispanic couples but none of them were Black. Our game was a bust.

The concert was as a whole I would give a B+. Nickleback seems to just want to be a crowd pleaser then themselves. Excessive cussing and talking about drinking. But it is possible they are all about that, I suppose. Which would not make me like them anymore if that was so. They did know how to work the crowd though. 3 Doors Down did rock out to me. They sang all the songs I wanted to hear. I just think when I saw them last year and I was in the pit and they were with Our Lady Peace it was much better. Plus I think the Woodlands sucks as a cool place to see bands. They suck and need to be more fun oriented and lest restricted access.

Dork Less #7 Thinking you are a people magnet when in fact you are more likely to repel any human from talking to you is dorky. When you need others to get excited for any event, such as a concert, you show signs of dorkness. Thinking of harming people via a lighter can be considered dorky as long as the consideration doesn’t go any further as in actually planning it. Then you get into murder’s territory and I haven’t a clue about that. Yet. =)