Me and Dez were to go out thrift shopping on Sunday. Why? Because we wanted to, should there be another reason? Yeah that’s what I thought. Of course with the great weather we did have during the week, we would have to have thunderstorm weather for our weekend. So lovely and great are the two words that came to mind.
Dez drives us to what she thought was a thrift shop. But it wasn’t what she thought it was and therefore we didn’t get out of the car. We drove past the spot she thought it was at and we headed for the dollar store. That means we have to cross over a busy street in the rain in a car and it may seem easy but it wasn’t. The street we get on is two lanes and everyone had to squeeze into one lane. That sucked but the reason there was such suckiness is because a car battery died. Aw. We really didn’t have time to feel the sorry for them. It was raining and we had to make the light.
We get to the dollar store’s parking lot and Dez parks. Where does she park? Far freakin’ away from the door and the reason she does it is because, “There isn’t any parking that close.” And what do we see when we walk in the rain to the door as she tells me I am not going to melt? 3 parking spots and one of them is right there next to the store. She thinks it was okay to be cruel and mean to me. But all knows that that isn’t wise to do so.
We get in the store and we walk around. The whole reason we were going there was because we wanted to look at the shirts because last time we actually found something to get. But this time was different and crapy and we found nothing at all. So that sucked. We did, however, walk around the store to see if we see anything that we wanted. I was hungry but wasn’t allowed to eat because we were going to meet someone. So I wanted chips. I got chips.
I do look around and notice people have shopping carts which gives the impression that they are buying more than their two hands can hold. Which then I come to the conclusion that they have to shop at the dollar store because they can’t afford to go any where else and that’s okay. But I don’t want to be those people. I am pretty happy that I can go to the dollar store because I want to not because I have to. I don’t want to have to go to the dollar store because that would bite.
I decided I wanted to go and look at the wonderful pens that they have for a dollar. They were wonderful. So wonderful that some of them were open because apparently a dollar is way too much. Who in the world steals from the dollar store? Who? I mean it is only a dollar and then you decide what? That’s just too much for me. I can’t spend a dollar. What a dollar I’d rather spend only 99 cents. So I think I’ll steal this here pen because a dollar is way too much money for me to be shelling out for a pen.
I didn’t get it. Nor do I get my obsession with buying shirts even if they are from the dollar store. Well we did go out into our adventure to the thrift stores and it was unfortunate that they were all closed because they are good Christians and are not open on Sunday. I hate them. Why in the world would they or should they be closed on Sunday? No one knows.
Well I’m sure someone knows but that someone is not me. And therefore since it is not me and I don’t know this someone I say that no one knows. For as far as I know no one knows and that’s the way things are. Well should be. Anyway we end up eating wings and I end up stating we should start our own Olympic rowing team. And then Dez’s friend M says she’ll be the screamer screaming when to row. That’s fine because she is way to skinny to even row. I think her arms would fall off. That wouldn’t be pretty and I don’t clean up blood. That’s asking for something. What is it asking for—I have no idea but I don’t wanna clean the blood is that okay?
So we end up—as always—going to Wal-Mart because they need crap from there. I park far away from the door. Who complains? Not Dez because she knows she did the same thing to me but it was raining. I end up buying more shirts at Wal-Mart. I need a twelve step program for this addiction. But I like it. I love me the shirts.
Dork Lesson # 10 would be going to the dollar store for supplies and not because one has to but because one wants to. I will not state that stealing from the dollar store is dorky because I just find that stupid. Stupid dollar store stealers, what is up with that? Oh well we all can’t have the smartness.
